Family Discipleship

Before coming on staff full time as the Children’s Director at Burning Bush Baptist Church, I previously worked at Lowes for 17 years. During my tenure there, I was a Merchandise Manager with a staff of over 15 employees. In that time I learned the importance of leading a team well, not only by giving direction and planning but also for caring and developing individuals to the best of their ability. 

Over the years, Lowes has had many slogans to help capture the vision.

“Never Stop Improving” 2011

“Do it right for Less” 2019

“Lowes Knows Home Improvement” 2023

While these business phrases helped define the business model, I believe my competitor Home Depot got it right when they said “YOU CAN DO IT…WE CAN HELP”.

I believe this to be true for ministry in that, you the parents can do it … .we as the church can help! Believe it or not, God has chosen you to be the primary minister of your children. In fact the Bible refers to the father of the home as the “priest” of the household (Gen.18:19, Eph. 5:23). The 17th century Puritan William Gurnall wrote that, “Every father has the care of souls upon him. He is prophet, king, and priest in his own house, and from these will appear his duty.” Gurnall expresses that parents have the highest calling as overseer in their home, that is, to care for the souls of their children.

When it comes to the home life, many parents lack confidence, lack direction, have busy schedules, struggle connecting and lack motivation in their children’s faith path. In my observations and my own personal experience the following phrases arise as to why “Family Worship”, “Discipleship” or “Family Devotions” is missing in most of the homes.

    1    “I would love to but I don’t know where to start” (lack of direction)

    2    “I would love to but I don’t have time” (time management)

    3    ” I am no theologian” ( lack of confidence )

    4    ” I cant’ get my kids to engage” (lack of connection)

    5    ” We pray at meals, what else do I need to do?” (lack of motivation)

Direction I have never met a Christian parent who said its not their responsibility to disciple there child. Most Christian parents (myself included) desire to have their home filled with family time, interaction at the dinner table and fellowship with friends. Any good Christian parent would love to know that the foundation of their child’s faith started in the home. There are many parents who’s challenge as to why discipleship is a struggle or non existent in the home stems from a lack of direction. This is where the church can be the greatest aid, not only in teaching kids/students each week collectively, but providing parents with resources to help them at home. We are incredibly blessed to have more than enough resources in our day to help build, nurture and develop our children. Pray and ask your Children’s/Student leader what resources are available for parents.

Time Management I hear many parents say “I would love to but I don’t have the time.” Lets face it, the life of the average parent is busy. With work, scheduling, dropping kids off at school, weekly activities, appointments, where does a parent find the time to add something else to their plate. If time management is problematic for you, take a moment and look at your weekly schedule. Evaluate your daily activities and pray and discern what is necessary for your family to be apart of. Maybe there is some things that need to drop off your plate to help provide more family engagement. Perhaps you need to promote evening prayer time before bed, a quick devotional after dinner or maybe tuning your car rides to worship music. Ask God to help you see the areas that need attention in regards to managing your time. Pray and ask other parents what they do best.

Confidence The late R.C Sproul wrote a book titled “Everyones a Theologian.” The premise of this book, written for the non seminarian, is that everyone is a theologian, it’s if your a good one or bad one that matters. If your like me, I was terrified to be asked questions beyond the surface level on biblical matters. While the Bible does clearly state that an overseer of ministry is a calling by God, all believers are to “be ready to give an answer” (1 Peter 3:15, 2 Timothy 2:15). Also in Paul’s letter to the Corinthians, he expresses that the same Spirit grants all believers with a variety of gifts. God has not called all parents to study and recite a systematic theology book, but He has called parents to “train up a child in the way they should go” (Proverbs 22:6). Start by daily reading the Bible for yourself. Lead your families in prayer (then invite your kids to pray as well). Read books and blogs of subjects that your interested or need help in. Ask yourself what you are most knowledgable about, Sports, Movies/TV, Hobbies, etc and use that to challenge yourself to become more knowledgable about God and His Word. Pray and reach out to your pastor or trusted friends and see how they can help.

Connection Our world is constantly moving and full of distractions, some imposed on us and some self-imposed. Like time management, connecting with your family might be a struggle in and of itself. Perhaps you feel like you have had many failed attempts to have conversations with your kids. Do you feel like your connection with your kiddos is mostly quick, argumentative, or passive? I’m with you! Your child may spend hours in front of a screen but can’t listen to their parents for five minutes (probably less!). Let’s reset; most of our kids don’t feel like we listen to them. Start by listening to your child, whether they are telling you about their favorite Pokémon character or something they have been wanting to do, stop… listen. Maybe you need to spend more time doing things your kids like. Perhaps you need to give them your full attention and play with them, watch that YouTube video, or take them somewhere they would love. Connection starts with YOU. Don’t get discouraged; start small and be prepared to reset daily in order to connect with your kids for their good and God’s glory.

Motivation The truth is, if we’re not passionate about something, we won’t put much effort into it. Casting a vision for you and your family is so important. Ask yourself, what do you want for yourself? What do you want for your kids? How do you want to be known by others? A lack of motivation can stem from depression, anxiety, doubt, laziness, and low self-esteem. It’s easy to lack motivation in a world that thrives on more and more. The late Truett Cathy, founder of Chick-fil-A, was attending a business meeting involving the food industry competitors and the future of the business. When the competitor was moving towards marketing strategy for more, faster and larger, Truett was asked what Chick Fi La would do. In response, he slammed his fist on the table and declared “I’m tired of hearing about having more, faster and larger…I want to focus more on getting what we have…better.” As a result, the competitor ended up bankrupting and well Chick Fi La…there doing just fine. Pray and ask God to create a vision for you and your family. Set some goals and stay passionate about it. Reach out to your church leaders and trusted friends to help support you along the way.

What’s next? If you’re reading this blog, know that this shows you care, and that’s a good thing! Whether you feel like things are going well or you feel like your ship has sunk, take heart! If you have a great routine and you feel like direction, time management, confidence, connection, and motivation are where they need to be, then great! Perhaps you can help other families by praying and making yourself readily available to support those around you. If you feel like giving up, don’t! Remember, God is for you, and so is your church! Start by praying and asking God to build up your confidence and refresh your love for your family. If you are experiencing obstacles such as family structure, single parenting or life challenges, take heart, God knows and will see you through it. Look at your schedule and find the best time for you to spend time with God and His Word. Start small, institute prayer time with your kids before school, mealtimes, and before bed. Promote Bible reading when it can take root. Remember, what goes on in our hearts is a work of God, so don’t force these things, simply usher them in. We are not the Holy Spirit! Reach out to your local church and lean on your leaders to help support you with prayer, encouragement, and resources. There’s an old saying that there’s more “caught than taught.” Your kids are going to look back and remember the effort you gave to love, support, and point them to Jesus.

“And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.”  2 Corinthians 9:8 ESV

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