Through Mary's Eyes: A Mother's Grief & God's Redemption

I often think about the way it must have felt for Mary in the days leading up to Holy Week, and how she must have felt on that day when she watched her world simultaneously crumble and also be saved.

I know I cannot fully comprehend her thoughts or her hurts, but I often try to put myself in her place. I wonder if her heart remembered all the moments He cuddled up in her arms and fell asleep. Or the nights when sleep was nowhere to be found, and she held Him through the night. The days when He was learning to walk and would fall and scrape His knee, and she would come to the rescue and make it all better. I cannot fathom the heartbreak she felt as she watched her firstborn—the baby who made her a mother—murdered for her sins and for the sins of the world.

Jesus told His disciples that if they were going to truly follow Him, they must hate their families. The word hate here is a hyperbole, and Jesus obviously does not mean for us to actually hate anyone, but rather that we must love Him more. Luke 14:26 says, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, and even his own life—he cannot be my disciple.” (CSB) I think Mary understood this on such a deep level. She was grieved and in unfathomable pain, but she understood that to save the world, she would give up her baby boy. I wonder if there was ever a moment in Mary’s mind when she prayed, “I will do it! I will take on the sin of the world! Just not my baby!”

Could I do that? Could I willingly let my daughters die if I knew it would make intercession between a lost and dying world and the Savior of that world? Mary was sinful. She was human and in need of a Savior. She knew her Son was dying for her. Could I be as bold or as strong as Mary if my daughters were faced with the same situation?

Obviously, my children are not the saviors of the world. But if it meant sending them to a place where death was certain, and through the working of the Holy Spirit they could help lead people to Christ, would I let them go? Would I allow them to live out their calling so that others might be saved? Or would I cower in my home, holding onto them tighter, and plead with God to send someone else? My head says that I would let them go, but I know it would not be without a struggle or without bargaining.

I would pray, “Send me instead.” But as Hannah gave Samuel to the Lord, my prayer would need to be:

“For the foundations of the earth are the Lord’s; on them He has set the world.He will guard the feet of His faithful servants,but the wicked will be silenced in the place of darkness.”— 1 Samuel 2:8–9

May we be parents who understand the depth of sin and the need for a Savior in such a way that we raise our children for the purpose of going, sharing, and following Jesus—even unto death like His.

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